But my Gall Bladder! I was told this was an organ I don't need which made me immediately suspicious: Aren't they going to say the same thing about our legs in 100 years when when they turn sidewalks into escalators? But the Gall Bladder is a throw back from the days when people used to ingest an entire Ox and then starve themselves for 5 days, it stores extra bile to break down fats. Uhhh...aren't I going to need that again if I ever grow another placenta and have to eat pounds of cheese???? But in the end they were right. My Gall Bladder was a total asshole. It gave my a lot of pain and forced me to eat fat free foods for months (kind of like being in a bad relationship) I'm glad to see it gone...never needed it anyway. And frankly, it was so stupidly small it would obviously make for a very disappointing meal. Just kidding...who wants to eat something with ROCKS in it? Seriously though...I wonder what they did with it?
Monday, September 21, 2009
I blame my Gall Bladder
What happens to organs once they are removed from your body? I know the surgeons don't let you keep them anymore otherwise I would've had a cocktail party where you could win a prize by guessing how many stones were in my gallbladder (it would've been in a jar, not on the cheese plate - just so you know). When I asked to keep my gall bladder after I had it removed in June they looked at me like I was insane. Somewhat similar to the look I received after I asked to keep my placenta, as in "WHY"? Well, why not? It's mine isn't it? I had to do the hard work of growing it. Have you ever had to grow an organ in your 30's? It's hard work! I had to nap daily and eat pounds of cheese while growing that thing (well the cheese was a personal choice), but the hell if I'm going to leave it behind me! Truthfully I wanted it because a very good, and successful (if not famous), friend of mine had hers dehydrated, then crushed and made into capsules that she would take once a day to get super shiny hair. Yes, after giving birth I wanted at least one thing on me to look pretty. Apparently Chinese doctors will do this for you in the States but in Canada?...not so much. So we tried to dry it out in the oven for 48 hours. The "we" being me and my husband who fully supported me eating my own placenta. God, that sounds disgusting. But animals do it! Have you ever seen the coat of a cougar? It's shiny and thick, and you know why? It ate its own placenta! So in my quest for shiny hair and a host of other "healthy" benefits I dehydrated my own placenta in my oven. What I learned from this was two things: Do not try and dehydrate your own placenta in an Eaton's Viking oven from the 70's and secondly, just don't try and do this at all: It's repulsive and akin to slaughtering your own cow to enjoy a delicious steak. Go to a professional if you so desire to ingest dehydrated capsulized organs or T-bones. Enough said.