Monday, March 14, 2011

Retirement Is Wasted On The Old

I've become increasingly jealous of senior citizens.  I'm referring to a specific age group between the ages of 63-75 (It used to be 60-70 until I saw an interview with the very sprightly Jane Fonda).   Let's call them generation: "I am going to milk the shit out of this decade and yes, I'm wearing a good deal of bronzer.  Suck it."

You will rarely see this specific generation with food encrusted on their clothing or a haggard head of hair pulled into an unwashed mass that can barely be called a pony tail.   In fact their clothes look so superbly pressed that you can't help but be convinced that they had just spent the past hour or so ironing their outfit (news flash: they did).   Necks are adorned with large chunky gold jewelery (not infant vomit)) and hair-do's look like $50 blow-outs.   They aren't going to an all inclusive for a one week stay and an all-you -can-eat buffet.  Why?  Because they own a little place down south that they frequent for 6 months year where they've learned to cook authentic Peruvian food made with fresh ingredients that they buy once a day.  And there's no apology for it either.  Why should they?  When someone comments "Must be nice" they aren't back peddling like most 30 somethings I know..."Oh well, we haven't had a vacation in 3 years, and WE ARE TAKING THE CHILDREN and the weather is supposed to be AWFUL this time of year so..."  Retiree's are just like, "That's right.  It's nice alright.  Real Nice."

Retirement is where it's at!

This isn't about not having a job either.  I love my work.  I'm envious of their state of mind.  They've done it, reveled in it, hated it, loved it and they've come out the other end knowing something that I know nothing about and will have to wait 30 years to find out.   Trust me, you won't find me hanging out with my age group at a party if I can chat up a 60 something:  They party more (no kids to wake up to)  They drink more (Liver Schmiver) and they know things.  Lots of things.  But most of all?  They've learned to give themselves one major hell of a break, emotionally and physically, which always seems to lead to a greater sense of their spiritual self.

Why isn't there a TV show called Sixtysomething?  I'd watch it.   Because for all the bliss this older generation seems to be enjoying they don't have a problem conjuring up their own set of dramas.   Recently my father-in-law suggested to my mother-in-law that they should re-do their kitchen because"they maybe only have a good ten years left."  My M.I.L saw right through this in under 10 seconds stating "If you think I'm renovating this kitchen for your second wife then you've got another thing coming!"  This could be great prime-time drama.   Of course my F.I.L laughed it off and jumped on his BMW 1200GS motorcycle which he was never allowed to ride until he hit the tender age of 60. And yes, his pants were perfectly pressed as well.

Why are we all re-inventing the wheel when it comes to how to save, live and raise our kids when there is a whole generation out there sitting pool side with all the answers?  I suddenly feel like a total idiot.

So please, if you're over the age of 60 please feel free to leave great advice on this site.  I will read it and hopefully learn a thing or two.

And before someone thinks or post this:  Yes, I will shut up immediately and enjoy what youth I have left.

p.s. Thanks for all your emails - click the comment bar below to leave a comment. xo


  1. LOL!
    If only the 30-40 ish generation had the same sort of class/dress sense of the 60-70 generation. Well, at least 90% of the women and the men who let them help.

  2. Being 60 something, I enjoyed the blog and I couldn't agree more. Jack and I spent 1 1/2 months in the south for the first time this winter and missed all the snow. And I've not apologized for it once. One evening following a delicious dinner in a fine restaurant, feeling a bit tipsy from the wine, we walked down 5th Avenue in Naples, Florida and I bought and wore the BEST, sexiest pair of shoes EVER. If you can't hide it, you might as well decorate it!

  3.'ve nailed it and we are proud that you get it! As you know, living where we do does something special to us who are "over 60". Luckily we will all be around to welcome you and Joey when you get there!

  4. Hudson/Rigaud, is the fountain of youth.....everyone is so busy with biking, tennis,arts, etc, they don't have time to get old......meeting your F.I.L and M.I.L. has taken 15 years off my life.....

  5. Oh Hudson, You super hottie you...

  6. Love it Allana. After spending a week with my parents down south - who are living the life you described - I can really relate to all you have said. You forgot to mention costume balls. These folks don't need to wait for Halloween, they can dress-up (and go all out) at any time of the year. While visiting with my 'rents, they did indeed attend a Venetian ball, my Mom wore a gold period dress that she had made (for a Christmas costume party a number of years ago), my Dad wore a tux and they both had authentic masks from Venice! Yes, it is the life. But one thing I know, is they earned it (big time - raised 4 kids, need I say more...) and I'm so proud they are healthy and happy to enjoy their 'Golden years' to the fullest.

  7. Finally, some respect. Here are some tips..breastfeed a long time. It will shrink your abdomen, burns 2,000 calories a day and incidentally is good for baby..BTW it gives you a great bustline.
    Also..don't make comments when your spouse, presumably the father,takes charge of Baby. The more he feels competent the more you can get away!
    Also , get away for awhile.
    AND.. find other mothers because all baby talk is boring to others.